


Toichi Hachi

by TheEvilInThisChild666



Series: No More Heroes 1.5 [3]
Category: No More Heroes (Video Games)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Comedy, Eye Contact, F/F, First Time, Mild Fluff, Smut, Surprise Virgin, Tribadism, Vaginal Fingering, f/f - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 22:13:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19028995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEvilInThisChild666/pseuds/TheEvilInThisChild666
Summary: SPOILERS FOR YUBITSUMESERIOUSLY, DON'T LOOK DOWN IF YOU HAVEN'T READ ITI'M WARNING YOU...So...how did they fuck?





	Toichi Hachi

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, I'm presuming you have already read Yubitsume if you clicked on this story. If you haven't, it will severely reduce your enjoyment of this smut since it's technically Porn With Plot. Actually, it's Porn With Preexisting Plot. So PWPP. Anyway, even if you didn't read Yubitsume, I hope you at least get a laugh out of it.

Okay.

Shinobu is on top of me.

We were kissing a minute or so ago. It was going great. Very hot. I'm still turned on but...

She's just holding herself up with her arms above me, trying not to come off as confused. I can bet her a cool million that I am at least twice as confused as she is.

"I bet your arms are getting tired." I tried to break the ice with the topless woman above me. Maybe our buddy-cop dynamic has made this liaison more awkward than it should be. Maybe the light shining in the room has finally clued her into how ugly I am and she's thinking of a way to let me down easily. Or maybe...can women get death grips?

"One of my arms is metal. Also, I've been doing physical conditioning since I was three. I can literally do push-ups for several hours!" She snapped back with a scowl that didn't quite match her tone but made this whole situation pretty awkward.

"Alright, chill out." I cupped the side of her face with my hand like I was a detective trying to tell their client why they couldn't be together. "We don't have to do this if you don't want---"

"I want to do this!" She actually looked like she was about to tear up. "It's just...I'm inexperienced..."

Ah. "Well, it's alright if it's been awhile if you've been with a woman..."

"I've never been with a woman."

"Oh...okay, I mean...it's not really that much different than being with a man."

"I've never been with a man either."

...

I put my hand on her shoulders so that I can push her into a kneel position as I sat up. "Wait...you're a virgin?!"

She gave me a confused look. "Is that a problem?"

"No! No way, I mean...I just assumed...with your...you know...?"

A blank stare was tossed at me. "You assumed that because of how I dress, I must have experience?"

Great, now I'm a fratboy.

"No no no, I just thought...you're cool, gorgeous and really confident. You should be able to get anybody you want."

She made sure she had my attention by looking directly into my eyes. "I have never been interested in sex until my late teens. I always assumed everyone around me was stupid or weak. The boys were all perverts and the girls were all too nervous. I thought that I would never sleep with anybody until I met him."

I realized she was talking about Travis. As in, the guy who cut off her arm.

"When I asked to become his disciple, he said that I needed to become strong on my own first. That's when I decided: I will become more powerful, then I will return to lose my virginity to him."

I see...that things have become muddled even further. "Then why...?"

"I did get stronger coming here but I also realized something." She cupped my face with both her hands. Damn, I got outclassed almost immediately. "I don't want to give my virginity to someone I just admire. I want to give it to someone I love."

Wow. Now, I haven't put much stock into virginity since losing mine didn't magically cleanse me of my loser status. But hearing that gave me palpitations that threatened to launch my heart out its ribcage.

"I know I'm asking a lot but from you implied earlier, you seem to have a lot more experience than I do." She began to absentmindedly play with her hair. "Could you show me it works...?"

Great. I'm supposed to be the wise one here and she has me blushing. This is all going to go so smoothly, I can tell. "Shinobu, I don't have any experience with women either but if you really want to do this...how do you masturbate?"

She looked like she got hit with a brisk gust of wind. "Such a bold question..."

"We are literally topless in bed together."

She actually gulped. "I mean, I usually rub myself against a pillow or something..."

I turned her to the side of the bed while moving behind her, ignoring an annoying voice in my head that told me to "raw her". I honestly don't even know what that means. "Spread your legs."

She tensed up as she slowly split her thighs, allowing me to see her black laced panties. I slowly lowered my hand down the front of her body so that I wouldn't startle her. "Hey, relaxed." I breathed into her ear, keeping my voice as low as possible so she wouldn't hear how nervous I was. "We're just finding stuff out right now. No pressure."

She quickly nodded as my fingers finally reached her covered...let's call it her gash.

I'm not great at sexy names, okay?

Anyway, I pressed a finger against it and...she is really wet. Like, frighteningly aroused. I was more perplexed than turned on by this as I casually rubbed the wet spot with the same finger. I mean, I'm barely pressed against her, I'm only using one finger and she's gushing like the Niagara Falls. I was brought out of my distracted state by the sound of her moaning softly. Has no one really touched her like this?!

"Shinobu...do you mind if I go under the...um, underwear?"

She looked like she was going to pass out any second. "Please..."

I managed to not rush it, but I still moved my hand much quicker than last time as I slid them under her panties. I had to hold back an "Oh my God..." as I rubbed her drenched slit with my finger. It felt like I was spreading baby oil on a leather couch. I couldn't think of a less stupid simile because her moans were becoming much louder and harder to ignore. Her noises of pleasure were actually starting to fill up the room. I took that as an invitation to start rubbing her with two fingers to see if I can make her shout louder. I wasn't prepared for what I was going to hear next though...

" _Polla_..."

She sounded like she could barely choke it out between moans. Hearing her say my name like that flipped a switch in me. I was actually scared. Did I always want her? The girl who pointed a sword at me in our first meeting? The girl obsessed with the guy who mutilated her? The girl with a sword named Three Girl Rhumba? I don't know and worse yet, I don't care. All I know is that the most important thing in my life right now is making her cum right here, right no.

"Shinobu, do you mind if I---" She couldn't hear me. I was barely touching her and she was moaning her head off like she turned her vibrator on to the highest setting. I decided that she didn't like it, she would just tell me and I pushed my finger inside her. The gasp made that moment so very worth it. I starting pumping it at a moderate rate while watching her expression change from "barely restraining herself" to "starting to lose her sanity". Hey, I don't know if I made this clear yet but did you know that Shinobu is insanely hot? Like, I have to constantly reminding myself that this isn't a dream so that I don't have to look behind myself for the ostrich with the tennis racket who hits me to wake me up. Seriously though, I found myself sucking on her neck while still fingering her, getting the cutest groan I ever heard in my life out of her. I softly groped one of her breasts with my other hand as I licked the same spot I was sucking on. I didn't care if I came off as a teenage boy finally scoring ass in the limo after prom. I was going to have all of her today if it killed me.

"Polla...I think I'm cumming...!" She strained to make a coherent sentence as I kept tinkering with her. 

"Uh-huh..." I muttered as I bit her ear without ceasing my hands' activities.

 That appears to have been the straw needed because she let loose a loud, " **FUCK!** " before collapsing in my arms. I took my finger out of her and, without thinking, stuck it in my mouth to clean it. I almost gagged. Not really at the taste but the surprising tartness. She turned to me with a hazy look in her eyes. I looked back at her before we suddenly leaned forward to unite our lips together in an effort to defeat the Afterglow Coalition once and for all. 

This kiss was much more...intense than our earlier one and it wasn't really because we used more tongue. She slowly got her strength back as she grabbed the back of my head to pull me in closer. I followed suit by grabbing the back of her neck to make sure she knew that I was still onboard with trying to taste her tonsils. I can't believe I'm saying this but I don't think I had a legitimate make-out session in my entire life and it is becoming readily apparent with each passing minute. Thankfully, due to all the spit I've been swallowing, I'm starting to think that she hasn't had one either. Doesn't matter as a few minutes later, she gave my jaw a break and decided to kiss down my neck.

It was my turn to take the role of a girl exploring her sexuality in a strict boarding school as I moaned quietly as she kissed down the middle of my chest and cupped one of my relaxed tits to suck on a nipple. 

"Oh fuck..." Yeah, I've been making fun of her this whole time but it has  _really_ been a while for me. She sucked even harder like we were in The Grapes Of Wrath as she pushed my other nipple around with her thumb. I was starting to melt right then and there but she suddenly pulled away to trail kisses down my stomach while pushing me down. I barely noticed her pulling down my sweatpants before I saw her staring at my bush like she discovered a new country.

"Wow...you're..." She held her chin in an investigative matter while looking down at it. "...really hairy."

"It's been a while, okay?!" Glad to know my horniess has done to tone down my insecurities. 

"Sorry. I'm just not sure what to do here." She sighed in mild frustration. "I mean, I guess I could do to you what you did for me but I still want to taste you."

"There's a way you can...just spread my lips." I can't believe I was walking another woman through giving me head. I could barely keep myself from freaking out as she used her thumbs to open my slit. "That's great. Now start licking it,  _slowly_."

And slowly she did, although I think that was more due to nervousness than my instructions. Still, she sent shivers up my entire body thanks to how fucking good she felt with that tongue of hers. She was really a born Magellan, exploring a different area every time she tasted me. I was actually afraid that I was going to have to tell her that I'm not really ready for butt stuff with the way she's licking but then she moved up and started curiously lapping at my hood. I thought I was actually dying.

"Fuck...Shinobu..." She suddenly stopped and I had to swallow down outrage. "Um, Shino---"

"It's Scarlet." She turned her head up to look at me. "Call me Scarlet."

"S-Scarlet..." Hearing that hit her button as she returned to working on me like a frozen treat. My overuse of similes got a break as she got away from my clit and returned to licking my gash.

"Polla, I'm going to try something. Hold on." I couldn't even look down before she started waving her tongue up and down my slit while pushing her thumb inside me. It didn't feel too bad but I flinched and she obviously felt it. "I'm sorry. I'll try something else."

She took her thumb out and rubbed it on my clit while still lapping at my entrance. It took another minute or so but that was it. I didn't have that many experiences to compare it to but I came harder than I ever have in my entire life. My scream scared away a bird from a branch outside. I was a sweating mess as she crawled over me to plant one on my still gasping mouth. I was enjoying it at first until it suddenly sunk in how little I cared for the taste of my own cum. I broke the kiss to get some air.

"So you taste it too?" She gave me an unnervingly playful smirk. Couldn't say I was a fan.

"Taste what?"

"Your pussy tastes like stale Doritos."

"Ugh!" I pushed her down as I sat up on my knees again. She just laughed as I frowned at her. "You are so gross."

She sat up with an oddly serious expression that made me think she was bipolar. "I'm wet again."

That soon? Doesn't she have a refractory period? Is she a rabbit hybrid? "Do you want do you next...?"

She suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me close, pressing me against her. "I want you."

She somehow seemed closer than she was when we were making out. She pushed my hands against her breasts and slowly lowered them down to her sides, then her hips, then she lowered them to her ass. We made some seriously weird eye contact as I started groping her, a knowing smile taking over her face as I lowered and took off her underwear. I dropped it on the floor before pulling Scarlet against me by grabbing her ass.

Okay...maybe I'll consider butt stuff if I can do it to her.

She had different plans however as she sat herself on her leg and started rubbing herself against it. It dawned on me what she was up to and I uttered, "Wait..."

"Hm?" She only slowed down slightly. "Is something wrong?"

"Let's..." I gently shoved her off me and repositioned us so that our gashes were smashed against each other. "Let's try it this way."

"What's this?" God, did she just...not look at any erotica at all? I might actually be going to hell for screwing her.

"I saw it somewhere. Just...follow my lead." I began to copy what I saw the girl in the doujinshi do. I started rubbing my box against hers. She looked confused at first but clearly started to feel it as she tried to match my movements.

"Polla, your hairs...they're scratching me."

"S-sorry..." I started to slow down before I even really started. "We can try something else..."

"No. I like it." She picked up her movements and wrapped her arms around me. "Keep going. Please."

Already starting to panic, I grabbed her ass again and tried to see if I can press our clits together. It was mostly hit and miss but luckily, she was enjoying it. We kept at it, our moans starting to mix together as the room began to spin. We were practically fusing together. All I could see, hear, feel, smell and taste was her. I hated every person whoever said this about their partner at one point or another but honestly, we were one. 

She came two minutes before I did, her exhausted breathing giving me the second greatest orgasm of my life. I fell down, pulling her down with me. She rolled over to the side, her arms still around me and her body now coated with sweat. She kissed my head as I felt myself dozing off.

" _Aishiteru_ , Polla."

I barely managed to register it.

"I love you too, Scarlet."

**Author's Note:**

> The next big thing will probably not be No More Heroes. In fact, it may be a bit...A Knight's Taley.  
> ...  
> So look forward to that, the dozens of people of people who have read this (hopefully).


End file.
